What is Emotionally-focused Couples Therapy?

Emotionally-focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is a unique way of understanding what impacts our attachment to our important relationships. EFT can not only be used in couples therapy but also in individual and family therapy settings as well.

EFT prioritizes emotional connection and de-escalation (co-emotional regulations) to strengthen relationships. Dr. Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally-focused couples therapy, even said, “Emotional dependency is not immature or pathological; it is our greatest strength.” Emotions and affections are important in having secure relationships so much so that relationships often fail not because of conflicts but because of the decrease in affection and emotional responsiveness.

EFT helps couples understand their relationship with their attachment wounds in mind and help them experience deep connections by sharing emotions that often go ignored.

What EFT sessions look like in stages

Stage 1. De-escalation & Tracking the Cycle

• Assess the history of the relationship

• Build alliance and safety with each partner

• Identify the interactional cycles that are preventing the couples from safely connecting with one another

Stage 2. Restructuring Relationship Bond & Attachment Interactions

• Each partner owning their emotional experience of the relationship

• Validating the other partner’s experiences and creating new interactions

• Facilitating the expression of needs and wants that are often not shared

Stage 3. Consolidation/Integration

• Applying new solutions to old relational issues (Helping both partners create new narratives and stories about their relationship).

• Consolidating new interactions and positions of closeness