Therapy for Queer Asians
San Francisco | Seattle | Telehealth in California, Washington, and Florida
You’ve spent years code-switching to stay safe.
As a queer Asian person, you’ve learned to read the room, hide your truth, and carry family expectations that never quite fit. It’s left you anxious, disconnected, and wondering if real intimacy is even possible.
Therapy is where that starts to change.
I help queer Asians reconnect with their inner child, reclaim their voice, and build relationships that feel safe, honest, and on their own terms.
You may be constantly asking yourself:
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As a queer Asian person who came out later in life, I understand all too well how difficult it is to come out to your family who does not seem to understand anything other than the heteronormative life. I can help you gain more clarity on what you want relationally as a queer Asian person and make autonomous decisions that are self loving and self respecting.
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Each holiday comes and goes, and you are wondering how long you can hide the happiest part (or the most challenging part) of your life from your loved ones. You are wondering how hiding it will impact your relationship with your partner for the long haul. I help queer Asians build courage and self-love to get to a place where they can speak and walk in their own truth.
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Some upward of 60% of Americans grow up in religious families. This percentage may be higher in Asian American communities. As a queer Asian person, if you had the added layer of religion to your queer experience, you might or might not have experienced extreme loneliness, isolation, and spiritual violence throughout your life. Now that you are an adult, you are wondering how you can overcome years of religious trauma. I’m here to help queer Asians who grew up in religious environments deconstruct their faith, values, and religious teachings that caused self-hate and self-doubt so that they can rebuild the foundation of their lives with values congruent with who they are.
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If you are a queer/trans Asian person who live in a bigger body, you’ve probably heard criticism about your body too many times. That has impacted your self-esteem and self-hatred towards your own body. I’m here to help you deconstruct social and cultural expectations of beauty and get you to a place where you can celebrate and love your body.
You deserve a therapist who gets you from day one.
No code-switching. No translating your pain into something palatable. Just a space where your queer, Asian, spiritual, and family stories are held with deep care and no shame.
Whatever story you carry with you, your story isn’t too much.
You’ve spent so much of your life trying to navigate expectations—family, culture, society—all while figuring out who you are and where you belong. It’s exhausting.
You feel like you have to wear a mask, afraid that if people really saw you—all of you—they might not accept you.
You feel constantly silenced in a culture or a family system that values heteronormativity above all else.
Your family says that they love you, but their love never feels safe.
You left the church, but your body still remembers religious trauma and feels tighten up whenever you are reminded of it.
You constantly seek your family’s and your community’s approval, and you aren’t sure of who you are without their approval.
I hear you. Your healing does not have to look like erasing who you are — it can look like reclaiming yourself.
Hi, I’m Dr. Wonbin — a queer Asian therapist based in San Francisco.
If you’re tired of explaining yourself, you’re in the right place. I won’t ask you to translate your identity, justify your boundaries, or dilute your truth. I get it — because I’ve lived it too.
Maybe you’ve known you were queer or trans since you were five, or maybe the language came later — but the feelings were always there. You’ve had to hide them. Behind “good child” perfectionism. Behind silence at the dinner table. Behind straight relationships, spiritual guilt, or just… pretending to be fine.
No one gave us a manual for being queer or trans and Asian. Not in our families. Not in our churches. Not in the culture at large. So, you did what many of us did: buried what didn’t feel “acceptable,” held your breath through every holiday, and tried to survive.
I remember the first time I downloaded a dating app to meet women. I deleted it eight times. Eight. I was drowning in Evangelical shame, terrified someone would find out — but also just as afraid that no one ever would.
If this sounds familiar, you are not alone — and you don’t have to keep holding it all together by yourself.
In our work together, you won’t be asked to choose between your queerness and your culture, your authenticity and your family, or your survival and your joy. We’ll make space for all of you — especially the parts you were told to erase.
This is therapy where you finally get to exhale.
Specializing in:
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Relationship Trauma
You have experienced attachment trauma, inter partner violence, or adverse childhood, and you are not sure how you can your power back. Let’s uncover what is in the way of taking your life back and start building a life that you really want.
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Queer Identity Exploration
You have been wondering, and now you are ready to explore your queer and gender identity to live to your most authentic self. I will help you deconstruct cis-heteronormativity and rebuild the relationship with yourself and how you see yourself.
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Exploring Polyamory
You and your partner are contemplating opening your relationship and aren’t sure where to start or if polyamory is for your relationship. Let me help you and your partner learn how to have open, safe communications to set yourselves for success.
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Religious Trauma Recovery
Whether you are queer, divorced, or just hurt by the church, I can help deconstruct the previously held beliefs that deeply hurt you and have brought you pain. Together we can rebuild a new life of values and beliefs congruent with who you are.
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Therapy for Parents of LGBTQ+ Children
Your child has just come out to you, and you want to be supportive, but you aren’t sure where to start. I can help you create concrete goals on how to support your kid and help them thrive in their emotional and physical development.
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ADHD Evaluation & Coaching
You have spent years masking or feeling that something is wrong with you. You’ve never quite fit in in the mold that your family, your community and our society tell you to fit in. ADHD shows up differently in different cultures and genders and often go undiagnosed. I offer all-identity affirming ADHD coaching and help you thrive in your own uniqueness.
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IFS Parks Work
You carry many voices inside — the obedient child, the fierce protector, the one who just wants to be free. IFS helps you meet each part with compassion, honoring how culture, queerness, and survival shaped them. Together, we help you return to your true Self.
Therapy for Queer Asians Navigating Identity, Trauma, and Relationships
San Francisco, CA | Los Angeles, CA | San Diego, CA | Seattle, WA | Spokane, WA
Couples Therapy/Family Therapy
Find the cycles of conflicts and disconnection, grow in your understanding of your partner, and discover how you can re-connect and re-engage in your relationships again.
| $250/50-min |
Individual Therapy
Find your healing in a space where all of your being is welcome. As a queer therapist, I offer a space where you can work on what is important to you, your relationship, and your life.
| $225/50-min |
IFS Trauma Recovery Intensive
When you are impacted by trauma, healing sometimes takes more than talk. This IFS-based intensive helps you gently connect with the parts of you shaped by fear, shame, and guilt. In one deep-dive session (4-hour in a single day), we begin untangling what was never yours to carry — and help you reclaim a sense of self beyond guilt and silence.
| $1350 per 4-hour intensive appointment |
