Intergenerational & Family Trauma Therapy · Asian American Families · Online in CA, WA & FL
What our parents carried doesn't have to be ours to carry forever.
Therapy for Asian Americans and immigrants who love their families, and are exhausted by the guilt, shame and silence that came with that love.
Some pain is older than we are.
Many of our parents and grandparents survived war, poverty, migration, racism and loss. To survive, they learned to work hard, keep quiet, and not talk about feelings. They gave us everything they could. Often, they also handed down the fear, the shame and the silence they never had the chance to heal.
So you might find yourself overworking to prove you were worth the sacrifice. Saying yes when you mean no. Feeling responsible for your parents' happiness. Or freezing up in the same arguments they had, even though you promised yourself you'd never be like them.
As a queer Asian immigrant, I know this tension from the inside. I know what it's like to love your family deeply and still need to step back, set a boundary, or tell a truth they may not want to hear.
Honoring your family and healing yourself are not opposites.
Does this sound familiar?
The things no one in your family talks about.
"Nothing I do is ever enough for my parents."
"I feel guilty every time I put myself first."
"I translate for my parents, and I've been translating my own feelings away for years."
"We never say 'I love you.' We just say 'Did you eat?'"
"I hear my mother's voice in my head when I criticize myself."
"I'm always on alert, even when nothing is wrong."
If any of these landed, you're not ungrateful, and you're not broken. You're carrying something that was never only yours.
What we can work on
Healing intergenerational trauma in Asian American families.
01
Healing what was handed down
We trace the patterns, beliefs and survival strategies that passed from one generation to the next, and choose which ones you want to keep.
02
Parent-child conflict in immigrant households
When you and your parents grew up in different worlds, even simple conversations turn into battles. We work on understanding each other across that gap.
03
Shame, obligation & family expectations
Untangle duty from guilt, and set boundaries that fit your culture, without feeling like you're betraying the people who raised you.
04
Cultural trauma & complex PTSD
Make sense of the long-term effects of growing up with chronic stress, emotional neglect or harsh discipline, and how they show up in your body and relationships today.
How we will work together
Gentle, curious, and rooted in your culture.
I won't ask you to cut off your family or blame your parents. We look at the whole system, with compassion for everyone in it, including you.
- 01
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Get to know the protective parts of you, like the perfectionist or the people-pleaser, and the younger parts they've been guarding.
- 02
Narrative Therapy
Separate who you are from the stories you were told about duty, success and being a "good" son or daughter.
- 03
Structural Family Therapy
Understand your family's roles, rules and alliances, like the eldest daughter, the peacekeeper or the parentified child, and how to shift them.
- 04
Family sessions, when you're ready
If it feels right, we can invite a parent or sibling in, with a translator-free space in English or Korean.
What healing can look like
The cycle can stop with you, gently.
Boundaries without guilt
Say no, and still feel like a loving son or daughter.
A kinder inner voice
Replace the inherited critic with compassion.
A calmer body
Less hypervigilance, more rest.
Honest relationships
With your parents, your partner, and yourself.
Practice details
Family trauma therapy in SF Bay Area and Seattle with Dr. Wonbin, LMFT
Questions you might have
Do I have to be queer to work with you on family trauma?
No. My practice centers queer and trans Asians, and I also work with Asian American and immigrant adults of all identities on family and intergenerational trauma.
Will you tell me to cut off my parents?
No. You decide what kind of relationship you want with your family. My job is to help you get there in a way that feels true to you and to your culture.
Can my parents join a session?
Yes, when you're ready. Family sessions can be in English or Korean, so no one has to translate for anyone else.
You can love where you come from and choose where you go.
Book online, or text me first with any questions.